Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
