im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
