My Higher Power is John Stamos
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
