ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
