If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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