did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
