Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
