Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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