did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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