are you so shy because you have an std?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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