Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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