Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
