she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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