therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
