remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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