One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
