my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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