its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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