Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
worst night to have a conscience
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
