I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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