Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize