yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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