After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
