He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize