...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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