no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize