Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
