I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
