what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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