i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
