It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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