Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
