Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you win again, gameday.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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