My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize