i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
