??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
