He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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