I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
