Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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