Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What a dumb baby whore.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize