You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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