why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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