I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
