I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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