Sry I called you an 8
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
