it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
