I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
