Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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