I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
did i walk over a car last night?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
