I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
