nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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