Cold hands, warm shart.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize