I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize