Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
