college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
