His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
