Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
