Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
