Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i will never coherently bang her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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