'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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