The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize