One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
how do you play pong handcuffed?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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