butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His hands were made for my vagina.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
