he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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