Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
