party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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