Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
and she was petting her beer can
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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