girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
