3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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