when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
