Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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