mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize