This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
