Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize