This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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