he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
