Quick, to the slutcave!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
