i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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