Dude my mom stole all your condoms
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
