Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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