Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize