this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
