once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
