Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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