Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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