I need help removing her.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
