no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
